Just Julie

Just Julie…

I think that’s how I’ve thought of myself my whole life. Just Julie, trying to exist, trying to survive this life. I’ve never had that shinning confidence. Never felt like a man looked at me anymore than just Julie. Which as I’ve gotten older, doesn’t bother me as much, honestly men seem like such a chore these days, but I digress. I’m getting off topic, which if you stick around, and I stick to this, you’ll see happens a lot.

So in a life where I felt less than desirable from a young age, I set out to create diamond durability friendships. Growing up an only child, in a less than favorable extended family situation, I had to create my own “family”. Piece by piece, person by person. To this small, tight, and loving circle, I’m not just Julie. I feel at home, welcomed, and loved. These friendships are 20+ years of growing, nurturing, and pouring my heart and soul into. These are my people, my family. The extended family I so desperately wanted when I was younger.

I know all too well the feeling of helplessness, as those close to me, my “family” either deserted or ridiculed me. I decided long ago I would never let people feel that in my presence. So I set out to create a life where I was light and love. No matter the cost, I would be that person. I think that contributed to my ultimate breakdown. Filling other’s cups while absent-mindedly ignoring my quickly draining cup.

But this blog isn’t about the downfall, the darkest pit. No, this is about finding the balance. About still creating light and love for others, while also shining on myself. This is where I learn to love just Julie, because she’s actually pretty great. I have no idea where this blog will go. But I like the idea of typing my thoughts into the unknown. Who knows if anyone will read it. But cheers to the journey.

-Julie